To whoever needs to hear this:
I validate your feelings.
Yes, it’s real.
Yes, it’s painful.
I know it’s a lot for some people to take in and understand, but I do.
I may not walk the same exact path as you do, but I won’t say I had it worse because really, who are we to compare?
We have different struggles and it sucks big time. Not gonna lie.
But be positive that someday, you will look back on your journey and you will catch yourself smiling because you made it to the other side–happier, healthy and safe.
I’m just here, I won’t judge you. I know that’s the last thing you will need.
And maybe, I needed to hear this as well.
Your heart is racing fast and your body temperature goes up.
You just want to release all of your anger!
You might want to punch a pillow, scream your heart out, ugly cry or maybe write–just like this.
But wait… “Am I really mad at the person or to myself?”
I’m not so sure anymore.
You see it happening right in front of your eyes.
You hear it being said to you over and over again.
You feel your heart break into million pieces while your throat tightens into an impossible knot.
You can even taste your own tears running down your face now.
Yet you still listen to that tiny crack of voice inside your head that ever so softly whispers,
“It’s not true–it can’t be true.. Right?”
I looked at myself in the mirror today and suddenly had the urge to get a pair of scissors and just chop off my hair right then and there.
And so I did.
Looking at myself after my impulsive decision, I began to panic.
It’s way too short.
I looked around the floor. Hair everywhere–a lot of them.
I focused my gaze on the mirror again.
I looked more younger now. I feel lighter.
Along with my hair are the feelings I’m bottling up inside me.
I’m letting them go now.
I’ve let them go.
Some–or maybe all–of you may not know, but I’m going to be 25 this year.
Gosh. I feel old.
I’m hearing my bones literally cracking just by typing that.
Kidding aside, I’m definitely feeling this quarter life crisis now and I don’t know what to feel about it.
“Am I on the right path?”
“Am I doing enough?”
“Do I need to change career all over again?”
Just some of the questions that bother me everyday that’s obviously left unanswered.
For me, blogging is very therapeutic.
There’s that sense of relief and liberation when I write about my feelings or the things I’m very passionate about.
People reading my blog and leaving positive comments is just an amazing bonus.
Working + studying at the same time is very exhausting–I’m in dire need of a blogging therapy now.
My heart and mind is just bursting with feelings that needs to be written down.
I guess I can say I’m back.. Again.